Tonight, and most of this week actually, i would very much like to have a shot of Bushmills and a Budweiser and a Newport, and then a shot of Jager and a Yuengling and a Newport. (I switched to menthols after i came back from India. Extended international travel will play hell with your cigarette brand loyalty.)
Last night was the 6 week mark on this cleansing/abstinence thing i have going on – 6 weeks without smokes, or booze, or coffee. In general, i feel pretty good, and my teeth continue to look better and brighter. My clothes, car, and person smell better. And even though i have been slacking on the vigorous exercise the past 2 weeks, i am still hitting 190 on the scale and continuing to transform that weight from beer flab into muscles through not drinking beer and doing much walking and golfing. I fit into all my fancy suits again. The pants are a little tight at the waist on my favorite suit, but that is really a Spring/Summer affair and i should be groovy for it by then.
I am getting much more sleep than i have since probably 1990. I am getting an average of 8 hours, and no less than 7 of solid, uninterrupted sleep (as opposed to the 4-6 i have been rocking on average for the past twenty years). That is awesome. But, i am having more dreams and more vivid dreams. That is also awesome – mostly. I am now up to 7 times in my tally of frustrating dreams. That is right people, my subconscious is cheating and i am drinking and smoking up a storm in my sleep. I feel that this is deeply unfair. It is like when you dream about work. You wake up unfulfilled, frustrated, and trying to figure out how to clock-in or otherwise bill for those hours. I have no one to bill, i just wake up with a craving.
It passes quickly. Oddly, i have not missed or craved coffee at all – i don’t even dream about it. Sometimes when i smell my mom’s morning cup of coffee brewing i get a little pre-nicotine rush – but that passes quickly and does not bring up a coffee craving, just the desire for smoke.
It is the evenings that are hardest, like right now.